Bidding home page, with links to related pages
The wedding feast (neithior) was the event to which relations, friends and neighbours were invited by a bidder (gwahoddwr) or bidding letter.
It is probable than only a small proportion of all weddings, even those in south-west Wales, were marked by a neithior or bidding, with its acssociated custom of collecting cash loans, returns of loans and gifts.
Neithior is now sometimes used to mean a ‘reception’.
Most of the printed bidding letters show that the neithior was held on the evening of the wedding.
1278
Llywelyn ap Gruffudd married Elinor de Montfort in 1278.
A’r nos honno y gwnaethbwyt y neithawr. (And that night their wedding banquet was held).
Brut y Tywysogion, or the Chronicle of the Princes, Red book of Hergest version, (Thomas Jones, ed.) (1955), p. 268
c. 1700
Neithior: a Wedding.
Jones, Thomas, (1648-1713), The British language in its lustre, or, A copious dictionary of Welsh and English containing many more British words than are in Mr. Davies’s Antiquae lingue Britannicae dictionarium duplex …
1760s?
Sunday being come the bride & bridegrooms business is to sit down all day, and receive presents, Good will & Pwython. This day is called Neithior. The Pwython are the presents they had made at others weddings repaid [i.e. Talu pwyth].
They receive more money this day than Saturday, and all are Carefully wrote down as before whether fresh presents or those repaid and by Monday morning the drink is generally Exhausted, and then or soon after the cheese is sold, which brings in a round sum of money. sometimes £30 or £40 is Collected this way in Money, cheese & butter to the great benefit of a Young Couple who had not otherwise scarce a penny to begin the world with.
Morris, Lewis, ‘The Manner of their solemnizing their Marriages among the Mechanics, Farmers & Common people in Cardiganshire, peculiar I think to this Country and its borders’ in the hand of Lewis Morris, NLW ms 13226C, [1762 or earlier], p. 320;
Morrisian Miscellany. Cardigan Weddings, Gentleman’s Magazine, (February 1792), pp. 109-111
1803
neithiawr … a wedding; a wedding feast, in some parts, which is kept on a fixt day after the wedding, generally the following Sunday, when the guests bring presents to the newly married couple.
W. Owen Pugh, A Welsh and English Dictionary, (1803)
1799
Public weddings are the universal custom throughout the principality among the common people. Here, if the father of the bride can afford it, he provides the marriage feast and it is her portion. If he cannot, or if she have no parents, she is trusted by some friend, or obtains credit at some public house; and, after repaying the money out of what is left by the guests, the remainder is her own. Every man who dines pays a shilling; every woman sixpence; though many chuse to give a shilling; every person who drinks tea sixpence. Every pint of ale is scored up to the person who calls for it, each comes and goes as he pleases, and many come only to drink and dance. The young people of the better sort scamper away on horseback, in parties of twenty, at a bidding. After having made their presents, the men treat the girls with cakes; load them with as many as they can carry, and then they gallop off together, … The poor people regale at the expence of the new-married pair, who provide bread, butter, a cheese, and sweet drink (that is ale with sugar and spice) in another room.
[Carnarvonshire]
A poor man, in the hollow of the mountains, has married his daughter since I have been here. He brewed a quarter of malt for the occasion. The cloth was laid out of doors; for his house consisting of one room, could not contain the company. Forty persons sat down at once, and as soon as they had dined, forty more took their places. My father who gave me the account, remained there not quite two hours; and saw about a hundred and fifty people, two only of whom could speak English. The bride, her father and mother, waited on the guests. The banquet resembled that prepared by Esop for his master, except that instead of tongues, tongues, tongues, it was beef, beef, beef. Five rounds were ready to succeed each other; the variations were bags of peas and mountains of cabbage: but these were delicacies to people accustomed to live on oatmeal and buttermilk. The cwrw was good, the man having done justice to his malt. The company ate off wooden trenchers, and sat on wooden planks, supported by slates. A harper made one of the party; and another was expected. The desert was butter and cheese. The house served for an occasional drawing-room; and two beds that were in it supplied the place of sophas.
Hutton, Catherine, [Letters of tours of Wales]: letter 21, Caernarvon Sept 14th 1799, NLW MS 19079C, ff. 95-96. She was accompanied on her tour by her father but they did not go everywhere together.
Transcribed and edited by Mary-Ann Constantine. [link] https://editions.curioustravellers.ac.uk/doc/00317
1799
In south Wales, when a poor couple marry, they send a printed hand-bill to every person by whom they are known, signifying that they mean to be married on such a day, and to keep their wedding at such a place, where they hope to see the person to whom it is addressed. This is called a bidding. On the day appointed, after the ceremony is performed, the new married couple, attended by the bridemaid and brideman, repair to the house fixed upon, which is always a public one, and sit, from eleven o’clock in the forenoon till seven in the evening, to receive the contributions of their friends.
Hutton, Catherine, [Letters of tours of Wales]: letter 21, Caernarvon Sept 14th 1799, NLW MS 19079C, ff. 95-96
Late 18th century
By this time it was twelve o’clock, and the bride and bridegroom, followed by a certain number, went into the house where a long table was tastefully set out with bread of two kinds, one plain and the other with currants and seeds in it; plates of ornamented butter; cold and toasted cheese; with ale, some warmed and sweetened. The bride and her maid were placed at the head of the table, and the bridegroom and her brother at the bottom. After the company had taken what they liked, a plate was set down, which went round, each person giving what they chose, from two to five shillings; this being done, the money was given to the bride, and the company resigned their places to others; and so on in succession till all had partaken and given what they pleased. Dancing was kept up till seven, and then all dispersed.
Anon (bride’s maid to a much-valued servant), in Hone, William, The Table Book, (London, 1827), pp. 396-398 vol. 3, para 792; (1835), vol. 3, pp. 792-794; and several more editions until at least 1891), pp. 396-398
?1810
Hên Arferion a Defodau Morganwg …
25 Pastai wawdd—Priodas wawdd—cwrw gwawdd—cyflwyna.
(A list in Welsh of some of the] traditional customs and pastimes of Glamorgan.
Bidding pie-bidding wedding-bidding beer-offer.)
Iolo Morganwg, NLW MS 13094E, pp. 105-06
1822
Cardiganshire. The Bidding is generally, but not always, held in the evening of the wedding-day.
Daniel Ddu o Geredigion [Daniel Evans, (1792 – 1846)], Sketches of Society. Welsh Biddings, Cambro-Briton and General Celtic repository, vol. 3, (April 1822), pp. 346-350
1823
This is based on Lewis Morris, 1760s (above).
Gwedi cyflawni y seremoni, yr holl gwmpeini a ddychwelant i dŷ y mab a’r ferch ieuanc, lle y bydd pob math o ymborth a diodydd yn eu dysgwyl. Y Sul canlynawl y bobl ieuainc a arosant gartref trwy yr holl ddydd, i dderbyn rhoddion a phwythion. Dyma y diwrnod a alwant yn ddydd y Neithior; a hwy a dderbyniant fwy o arian ar y dydd hwn nag ar y Sadwrn cyn hyny, ac ysgrifenir y cwbl i lawr mewn llyfr fel o’r blaen, pa un bynag ai rhoddion neu bwythion a fyddont. Borau dydd Llun, gwedi gorphen y wledd, gwerthir y caws a’r ymenyn, ac yn fynych ceir yn nghylch hanner cant neu drugain punt yn y ffordd hon, er mawr les y bobl ieuainc, y rhai, heb hyny, a fuasent yn gwbl anabl i ddechreu eu byd. Y Sabboth canlynol amryw o’r cwmpeini a ânt gydâ y bobl ieuainc i’r eglwys, yr hyn a elwir Eglwysa, ac yna gorphenant y seremoniau.
Y mae y rhan fwyaf o’r defodau hyn mewn bod hyd y dydd heddyw yn Nghymru, ond nid oes nemmawr o neb yn priodi ar ddydd Sadwrn, nac ychwaith yn derbyn pwythion na rhoddion ar y Sul canlynawl, eithr y mae yn agos pawb oll yn cynnal y neithior ar ddydd y briodas.
(After the ceremony was completed, all the companions returned to the house of the son and the young girl, where all sorts of food and drinks were served. The Sunday follows the young people who stay home all day, to receive gifts and pwythion. This is the day they call the Neithior; and they will receive more money on this day than on the Saturday before that, and all will be written down in a book as before, whether they be gifts or pwythion. On Monday mornings, after the feast is over, the cheese and butter are sold, and fifty or sixty pounds is often sold in this way, for the good of the young, who, without it, would be whole disabled to start their world. The following Sabbath several of the companions accompany the young people to the church, what is called Ecclesiastics [Eglwysa], and then finish the ceremonies.
Most of these ceremonies are still in existence today in Wales, but almost no one gets married on a Saturday, nor receives pwythion or gifts on the following Sunday, but it is near everyone will hold the neithior on the day of the wedding.)
Anon, [Hugh Hughes], Yr Hynafion Cymreig: neu, Hanes am draddodiadau, defodau, ac ofergoelion, yr Hen Gymru … (Caerfyrddin, 1823), pp. 125-137
1828
They soon entered Catti’s house, where her sister Juggy had provided a good dinner, of which all partook, cost free, except that every one had to pay for their own ale, the females of course being treated.
Prichard, T.J. Llewelyn, The Adventures and Vagaries of Twm Shôn Catti, Descriptive of Life in Wales, (Aberystwyth, 1828), pp. 54-68
1828
Modern Manners, Customs and Superstitions of the Welsh.
The Welsh weddings are noisy, riotous, and dedicated by the guests to drinking and singing. They are frequently preceded on the evening before the marriage by presents of provisions and articles of household furniture, to the bride and bridegroom. On the wedding day, as many as can be collected, accompany them to church, and from thence home, where a collection is made in money from each of the guests, according to their inclination or ability, which sometimes supplies a considerable aid in establishing the newly married couple, and in enabling them to “begin the world,” [dechrau byd] as they call it, with more comfort: but it is, at the same time, considered as a debt to be repaid hereafter, if called upon, at any future wedding of the contributors, or of their friends, or their children, in similar circumstances. In some parts, a short time previous to their weddings, where they mean to receive contributions, a herald with a crook or wand adorned with ribbands, makes the circuit of the neighbourhood, and makes his bidding or invitation in a prescribed form.
A good idea may be formed of a wedding-feast in Wales from the following pleasant description of one in the neighbourhood of Llanberis, Caernarvonshire, written by a Gentleman who was present on the joyous occasion :
VERSE …
A fire of square peat, and sufficiently dried, …
[From Bingley, William, North Wales including its Scenery, Antiquities, Customs and Sketches of its Natural History, delineated from two excursions through all the interesting parts of that country during the summers of 1798 and 1801, (2nd edition, 1804), 2 vols., Chapter 23, ‘The Manners and Customs of the Welsh’, pp. 283-285 Not in the First edition?]
Cathrall, William, The History of North Wales: Comprising a Topographical Description …, Volume 1, (1828), pp. 360-362
1830s (published 1878)
Rhan bwysig yn y darpariadau oedd breweddu y cwrw. Priodas heb afonydd o gwrw fuasai un o’r pethau diflasaf dan haul gan henafgwyr a llanciau yr oes hono. Er fod dirwest yn meddu cryn ddylanwad, ac yn rhifo lluaws o ddeiliaid ffyddlon, nid oedd wedi gallu tori lawr y parchusrwydd a’r urddas cysylltiedig â’r cwrw. Teimla llawer o bobl barchus eto, mai croesaw oeraidd ac annheilwng iawn a roddant i wr dyeithr heb osod potelaid o ddiod gadarn o’i flaen yn mlaenaf dim ; ac os dygwydda un o’r tylwyth gwlybyrol hyn fyned ar ymweliad â dirwestwr, ystyriant y danteithion goreu a osodir ger ei fron yn ddiflas, heb iddo gael ei sancteiddio megys â chyflawnder o gwrw. Ynfydrwydd, gan hyny, fuasai meddwl am briodas ar raddfa helaeth heb ddarpar cyflawnder o’r bwydydd brasaf, a rhesi o farilau llawnion o’r cwrw goreu. Gwelsom ddiodgell, ychydig ddyddiau cyn priodas, mor llawn o’r barilau mawrion hyn, a’r oll nid wedi cael eu prynu mewn darllawdy cyhoeddus, ond wedi eu darllaw dan arolygiaeth a chyfarwyddyd gwraig y ty; ac wrth gyfeirio atynt, teimlai fath o ymffrost yn ei gorchestwaith. Unwaith y dechreuid darllaw y ddiod gadarn, nid oedd ymwelydd na negesydd yn cael ymadael heb brofi y ddiod; ac os oedd yn gall, buasai yn dra sicr o’i chanmol, oblegid trwy hyny gallasai sicrhau cyflawnder o honi. Pan agorid baril ar gyfer ymwelwyr, taenai y newydd trwy’r ardal gyda buander mellten, ac nid hir y byddai amaethwyr y gymydogaeth cyn chwilio digon o negesau pwysig, er cael esgus i dalu ymweliad â mangre y briodas, canys gwyddent na fuasai anrhydedd y teulu yn goddef iddynt fyned adref heb eu haner meddwi yn gyntaf. Fel hyn nid oedd awr o’r dydd yn myned heibio nad oedd ymwelwyr yn y ty.
(An important part of the preparations was the brewing of the beer without which a wedding would be considered miserable (or boring) even though the temperance has considerable influence. Many respectful people think that the offer of a bottle of beer is an important part of a wedding. It would be foolish to hold a wedding without good food and beer.
We saw, just a few days before a wedding, many large barrels of beer not from a brewery but brewed by the lady of the house. Once a barrel was opened, the news spread rapidly throughout the area, attracting neighbouring farmers to visit, knowing that the honour of the host depended on the guests going home half drunk. This ensured a constant flow of visitors.)
Anon, ‘Priodas yn Nghymru’ Y Beirniad: cyhoeddiad trimisol, er egluro Gwyd-doriaeth, Gwleidyddiaeth Llenyddiaeth, a Chrefydd, Golygiaeth / editor: Parch J. Bowen Jones, Aberhonddu, rhif. 77, (Merthyr Tydfil, July 1878), pp. 362-371
1830s (published 1878)
Wedi gorphen gwasanaeth y briodas yn y capel, dychwelwyd i ryw dafarn eilwaith, ac yna aeth pob mintai adref at neithior y prydnawn — y gwr ieuanc a’i bobl i dŷ ei dad, a’r wraig ieuanc a’i phobl i dŷ ei thad hithau.
Prif waith y prydnawn fyddai cyflwyno rhoddion i’r gwr ieuanc, a’r un modd i’r wraig ieuanc. Rhoddid cyflawnder o fwyd a diod i’r ymwelwyr; a threulid yr amser mewn yfed, chwedleua, ac ysmygu.
(The main job of the afternoon would be to present gifts to the young man, and likewise to the young lady.
After the wedding service was finished in the chapel, we returned to some pub again, and then every group went home for the afternoon – the young man and his people to his father’s house, and the young woman and her people to her father’s house.
Guests were provided with a full complement of food and drink; and the time was spent in drinking, storytelling, and smoking.)
Anon, ‘Priodas yn Nghymru’ Y Beirniad: cyhoeddiad trimisol, er egluro Gwyd-doriaeth, Gwleidyddiaeth Llenyddiaeth, a Chrefydd, Golygiaeth / editor: Parch J. Bowen Jones, Aberhonddu, rhif. 77, (Merthyr Tydfil, July 1878), pp. 362-371
1846 Pembrokeshire
They brew as much ale as they can, and then sell it, without a licence, to their friends, who are expected to give more than the market-price. This is one way in which they raise money to begin the world with. There is also a similar custom called “cak-makking”, i.e. cake making. The bride and her friends make cakes, which are sold on the night of the marriage in the same way as the ale.
[At another bidding] £8 was so collected, a greater sum (the collier-teacher in the Sunday School told me) than could have been realised had the newly-married couple sold beer in the usual manner
Reports of the Commissioners of Inquiry into the State of Education in Wales, (1847), appendix, pp. 421-422, 437
1857
There is then a feast in the large room, or barn. Ale is the only beverage. A woman stands at the table, with a white cloth pinned before her, to do the honours; another stands by the newly married couple, to usher all in to “the reception”, who have contributed. The whole of the evening is spent in this way, some coming and some departing. The young people spend the remainder of the day together in pairs, as they do at fair time. They are seated in rooms quite full, and neighbours lend theirs for the purpose. The party generally disperses before midnight.
Anon, The London Journal, and Weekly Record of Literature, Science and Arts, Volumes 24, (1857), pp. 317-318
1884
An example in the National Library, dated November 12, 1884, is interesting because of a footnote to the effect that “all will terminate on the appointed day” (i.e. no gifts will be received after the date mentioned), “and gifts will not be acceptable on Sunday, at either place” (i.e. the homes of the prospective bride and bridegroom).
Ballinger, John, Gleanings from a Printer’s File, (NLW, 1928), pp. 19-24
1893
After [the wedding], refreshments, consisting of bread and cheese and beer for the men, and cakes and wine for the women, were then served. …
[After the wedding], The invited guests then repaired to the bride’s home, where a substantial dinner — not breakfast — was served, after which the bride and her girl friends, and the bridegroom and his companions, retired respectively to the best parlour and the village inn until tea-time.
Trevelyan, Marie, Glimpses of Welsh Life and Character, (London, 1893), pp. 56-65
1895
Bydd y daith yn dod ymlaen ym mhen rhyw dair wythnos ar ol i’r gwahoddiad fynd allan, ac anfonir y gwahoddiad pan fydd y gostegion yn cael eu rhoi allan. Nid oes ddal pa un ai yn nhŷ rhieni y wraig ieuanc ai yn nhŷ rhieni y gwr ieuanc y bydd y daith yn cael ei chynnal. Yn nhaith y dyddiau hyn bydd darpariadau helaeth a gwleddoedd mawrion. Y rhieni fydd yn dwyn treuliau y wledd yma oll, a cha y pâr ieuanc yr elw. Gwneir degau os nad ugeiniau o bunau o el w [sic] weithiau.
The taith will continue within about three weeks of the invitation being issued, and the invitation will be sent when the banns are issued. There is no holding whether the journey will take place in the house of the young wife’s parents or in the house of the young man’s parents. These days there will be extensive provisions and great feasts. The parents will bear all the expenses of this feast, and the young couple will get the profit. Tens if not scores of pounds are sometimes made.
[‘Carmarthenshire Folklore Collection’].
Cyfnodion a Chyfansoddiadau yr Eisteddfod Genedlaethol, Llanelli, 1895 (1898), p. 286,
1895
Questions by Professor Rhys
I am very glad you put that [bidding letter] in. I only wish you had a Welsh version as well. What do you call it in Welsh?
Answer by Dr David Rhys Jones, formerly of Cardiganshire: “Neithior”
What do you call the bidding?
Answer: “Neithior”; the bidding itself is there called “Neithior” in Welsh. “Gwahodd” means to summon to it. I suppose “Neithior” is to hold it at night.
Professor Rhys: Perhaps it is.
Evidence presented on 23 April, 1894 by Dr D Rhys Jones, (Cardiff) whose father rented Ffynonwen, Llangunllo, Cardiganshire.
Royal Commission on Land in Wales and Monmouthshire, Appendix, vol. 3, (1896), pp. 403-410, 1035
A Welsh language bidding letter was later handed in and transcriptions of both were included in the appendix of the report.
1899
Dyma yr enw wrth ba un y gelwid yr arferiad oedd gan y cymydogesau y nos cyn y briodas i ddwyn rhoddion o fwydydd, megys tê, siwgr, bara, ymenyn a phethau eraill, i dai y pâr ienangc.
This is the name by which the custom of the neighbors the night before the wedding to brought gifts of foods, such as tea, sugar, bread, butter and other things, to the young couple’s houses.
Jones, Daniel E., Hanes Plwyfi Llangeler a Phenboyr, (1899), t. 399
1901
Some of the old Welsh customs remained within my memory, inspite of the adverse influence of the Calvinistic reformation … and I have myself witnessed several Knitting Nights and Nuptial Feasts (Neithioirau) which … are not to be confounded with weddings, as they were feasts which followed the weddings, at the interval of a week. At there gatherings song and story formed an element of prime importance in the entertainment …
Rhys, John, Celtic Folklore, Welsh and Manx, (Oxford: Clarendon Press 1901), vol. 1, p. 76 quoting William Jones who was born in Beddgelert.
Early Tourists in Wales 